Happy Thanksgiving! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!
Eh, maybe so much the last. Have I missed anything? This is a catch up post. I’m behind, terribly. In so many things, it would probably stress me out to write them all down for you. Alas, I may attempt to anyways. So as to aid myself in never getting so behind again.
It has been a full year since I started this little “Finding Ana blog”. The purpose of the blog was to document my year of traveling and pursing my heart; using the blog as a means to heal my own wounds and bring others along on the journey. And truthfully, I believe I did just that. I used my blog for the purpose for which I created it. However, I’m not done.
To say I’ve talked a lot about the pursuit of dreams would be a semi-lie. In truth, I’ve talked with many people about dreams and the importance of pursing them. But, I have failed to write down these amazing conversations and where they have left me.
And so, here we go.
In this most recent part of my life I have learned the importance of pursing every and any dream of your own you come across, no matter how small and silly. I came home with every intent of continually doing so. And then, to be as cliche as I can be, life happened.
I realized I couldn’t set in motion any of the partial plans I’d had sitting in the back of my head because I have debt. Student debt. Now here is where some older readers may think me ungrateful so allow me to preface this next paragraph by saying; I am extremely grateful to have attended university and finished in 4 years. I am in awe that I have a Bachelors degree from which I can pursue “big girl” jobs. It’s quite the achievement to be overly grateful for, and I am.
However, the reality of debt has halted all plans to run off to another big city and live on nothing as I had been planning. The truth is, I can’t runaway to New York to live in the Big Apple and be a barista as I like. Or fly to Buenas Aires to teach English and travel South America. I have a major responsibility that does not allow me the freedom to come and go as I please.
So, here I am. Dead-set on paying off all of my student loans debt in the next 2 years (hopefully less than that) before I allow my wild heart to run.
I say this all to be honest with anyone who reads this. I feel stuck. I don’t want a big girl job for some company working 9-5, Mon-Fri. I don’t want to be a teacher. I don’t want that. I do want to pay off my debt as soon as possible. So, I’m a barista and waitress. I live with my parents to save money. I work 60+ hours a week and pay more than double my monthly loan requirement. I search online for flights abroad constantly. I google map how far it is to drive to the Grand Canyon every once in a while. And I help my parents plan a dream vacation to my favorite continent.
Life is not always about the immediate pursuit of your dreams.
Gross. I know. I hate even writing that. Because, I want it now. And part of me can hardly bare to settle for the wait, however long that may be.
So, I will travel. And make sure I can get off from both of my jobs first. I will be reckless. And still be sure to show up to work on time. I will spend money on traveling the world. And still pay the max amount and above on my student loans.
I will fulfill my responsibilities and while also remaining true to myself.
I will always look for happiness in the midst of something I am less excited to do. I will always do my best to fulfill my responsibilities while still living a life that I love.
It just won’t always looks exactly how I thought it would.
I have a new adventure coming up this month that I am beyond excited to share with you all! I plan on using Instagram Story to keep you all up to date in the few weeks prior to my trip as well as during. Go follow me if you don’t already to keep up with my travel!